Candace's WOW Story: I was born into a very loving family. My mother was always about love and being there. I never wanted for kisses and they were plentiful, as was the attention. If it were not for this consistent love and affection I don't know what may have become of me. Because of the tight bond we had I was able to come to my mom for anything, but still kept a secret from her (or so I thought), and it was because of that love that I eventually was able to tell the terrible truth. When I was 3 (or so I am told) is when it first happened. With my mother and grandmother downstairs I was upstairs loosing my innocence at the hands of a person who, in one action, became a stranger to me. When I returned downstairs to my mother and grandmother I was asked what I was doing and I was quite candid about it. This first time it was hushed as per my grandmothers request (as family dirty laundry was not aired). It was (as I am being told) taken care of "in house" and this person was told to never touch me again. My family was to believe that was the end of it. Two years later (at 5) is my first real memory of anything.
I had buried the memory of the first time deep enough to feel like a bad dream.
Yet this time I knew it wasn't right so I went right downstairs to my mom’s
side and just remembered feeling empty and alone, yet was comforted by being
close to my mom. The third time (around 9 years old) was yet again at my
grandparent place, but this time in the
room next to where my grandmother
was and my mom was not there.
This time it wasn't as severe, yet still mentally altering. It wasn't until then that I got the courage to tell my mother.
Unfortunately for years we both thought the
3 and 5 year old incident was one in the
same (this was just cleared up a few months back). Again, nothing was
done other than this person being
kept an eye on. In the 80's it
was not as known the ramifications
yet, but I would learn through years of counseling, medication and feelings of
worthlessness what effect it really has on a person. There
were ad still are times in my life that I was surrounded by people, yet felt
completely alone. Through my marriage, I felt ashamed sexually with my
own husband. Sexual acts became shameful to me. Anxiety is a huge
part of my life, yet I have learned tricks to dealing without using medication.
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder,
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Anxiety,
Panic Attacks, Depression, these are
all things I have dealt with at one point or another. Not
a day goes by that I don't think of what happened, and there
are still stories I am not able to share about the
flashbacks that have haunted me in my life. I know that what happened is not
what defines me. It is what I do in life, and how I handle daily situations
that do! When I started looking into registering Stranger Danger Awareness
I realized it was to be so much bigger! Continued at Right... |
|
Celebrating the WOW Gal in Every Woman
Copyright © 2010 Women of Worth Magazine All Rights Reserved.
Published by True Emotions Artwork Plus
