Gail's Story:
I was in my forties before I could openly admit that I had gotten married at fourteen. People are still shocked at my revelation but it didn't feel so difficult at the time. Perhaps I had numbed myself to the situation but I was optimistically pregnant and thought married life could be wonderfully romantic.
Of course life does not last on the mist of optimism and reality exposed a difficult marriage to an angry man. Ten years and three children later I found myself continuing my education and looking for happiness in a relationship with someone safe. I was always searching for love my whole life and although I stayed with my second husband over 21 years I was never really happy. I married twice more always seeking that loving partner that kept eluding me all my life.
It was during my second marriage that I began my spiritual journey. When I was 41 my first husband drowned, my father died and my current husband became gravely ill. I felt so anxious and desperate inside and had no answers to help me ride this current of despair. I began looking for a depth of understanding I had not found in traditional religion.
A friend introduced me to Eastern philosophy and I began meditating. I really devoted myself to the regimen and spent an hour every day in deep reflection. Sometimes I just sat thinking about all the things I had to do and other times I really went deep into peaceful bliss; these were the times that kept me going. The change that happened to me was very gentle and subjective. I hardly noticed any difference in myself until tragedy struck and my sister was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer at 49.
As I sat with her in the hospital I found myself able to rise above the situation and be in a space where I could see a greater understanding of life. Although she had slipped into a coma I spent my time with her telling her about what was happening to her. I told her about the white light that would come for her; I spoke of all our relatives that had passed that were waiting to meet her with great love. She was not peaceful. She was tossing and turning on the bed even though she was in a coma but as I spoke to her she seemed to become calm and opened her eyes, looking at me deeply. Then closed her eyes again and slipped back into her coma in a calm, peaceful state.
The night she died I was at home in bed and just beginning to drift off. As I did I saw a bright light, like a shooting star come flashing toward me, and I knew it was my sister making her transition. I got up and began meditating, sending her energy, peace and love. Just then the phone rang confirming what had happened but they told me to come because she was so peaceful.
When I entered her room it felt as thought it was filled with angels. The energy was so incredible I wanted to just sit there cry and be one with it. My sister had this funny grin on her face as if she knew a secret and I knew that she knew. I recognized then that our time here is just a transition period. A time to grow, to learn to love. That we should honor and bless our loved ones as they go on to the next phase. Of course we miss them but their energy continues on. The essence of who we are actually never dies. Cont'd at Right...
Gail Ingwall is a Proud Member of Our WOW Directory.
This experience changed me and I began seeking more understanding of life and of our purpose here. I began to understand that my yearning for love was not about a physical partner, but about loving myself, my journey, being all that I could be and from this place being able to love and help others.
I began seeking my way through healing modalities; Reiki, NLP, Acupressure, and so many courses I can't remember them all. I studied many philosophies, religions, and spiritual practices.
My third husband introduced me to Religious Science and I knew I had finally found where I belonged. It is a philosophy not a religion, believing there is One Creative Energy in the Universe and we use this energy every moment to create our own lives. The best part is if 'we change our thinking, we can change our lives'. It is the same church Louise Hay, Michael Beckwith and many new thought ministers got their start in.
I began studying with the church and in 2005 I became a minister. Now I teach classes in my home, do healing work and counseling and truly love what I do. I have learned that we are all here to love, to serve and to be the best we can be. No one else can make us happy; no one else can give us what we want. Only we can.
I've changed a lot since those early days of looking for love in all the wrong places. Its taken me quite a while and even now I continue to seek and study, to learn and grow because I have found that the more you know, the more you know you don't know. I have met many amazing women along the way and I am thankful for each and every one of them in my life. I do not regret any part of my life, for in each phase, I learned valuable lessons that have molded me into the person I am today.