Pat's WOW Story:

DON’T LET FEAR ROB YOU OF YOUR DREAM

Yes, I am the author of the award winning book, Simply a Woman of Faith: How to Live in Spiritual Power and Transform your life, an Inspirational Speaker, Spiritual Life Coach, Therapist and Radio Talk Show Host.  Sounds really impressive right, but let me tell you my real qualifications for writing my story and how I have been transformed and healed-from the inside out and it’s been “one day at a time.”

My real qualifications are that I triumphed over parental alcoholism, sexual and emotional abuse,  addiction to people pleasing, loss of a family business, near bankruptcy and divorce after 30 years of marriage. Two years ago, I left my corporate job of 20 years as an Alcohol and Drug Therapist to follow my passion and start my own spiritual business.  I don’t regret any of my life experiences for they have truly prepared me for my life’s work. I believe my suffering has given me a deep love and compassion for others. We all have a choice in life: to be BITTER or BETTER. I chose to be BETTER!

Anyone looking at me would not have known that I was filled with fear and never felt good enough, no matter what I did. I looked good on the outside and put up a good front to survive the chaos in my home. To survive, I became a “People Pleaser” and focused on everyone else, at the expense of myself.  I thought I knew what everyone else needed, but had how no idea of what I needed or wanted. I was starving for love and attention because I wasn’t getting it at home.  I looked outside for love, rather than within. The alcoholic drinks to avoid their feelings and the pain inside, I stayed busy and became what I call a “Rushaholic” to avoid the pain inside.  By staying busy and rushing, I avoided what was inside of me – fear, anger, unworthiness, self hatred, not feeling good enough and feelings of inadequacy.

I married young and my ex –husband was also from an alcoholic home-no surprise. We started a family right away, but unfortunately, neither one of us knew what we were doing because we didn’t have role models.  We did the best we could and raised 4 beautiful children who are all on their own spiritual paths- and for this I am also very grateful.   

Because my ex-husband was out of work for a year, it was suggested he seek therapy.  When he came home and told me about these “Adult Children of Alcoholic” meetings, I thought to myself, “Well, I came from an alcoholic home; I will check the meetings out. But if I am honest, I went to the meetings because I thought he needed them and he would go if I went. Interesting, because I continued to attend the meetings for over two decades and they changed my life. Unfortunately, he decided not to attend.

At age 38 I went into therapy, but still in denial that anything was wrong with me. I was so out of touch with myself and my feelings.  As I took the journey inward through therapy, prayer and meditation, I uncovered layers of low self esteem, unworthiness, self-hatred, inadequacy, fear and not feeling good enough.

Slowly, the walls of denial, anger and self-abuse came tumbling down. I began the work of recovering myself:  finding myself, loving myself and being myself. I showed up every day and didn’t give up on myself or God.  It’s been a long journey, but I persevered and did whatever I had to do to get healthy and whole. I prayed, meditated, journalled and started a daily spiritual practice. I read all the books I could get my hands on - thinking that maybe one more book could heal the pain inside.