In February of 2018 I started to notice a cold numbing sensation start to creep down my left arm. Was I having a heart attack? What was wrong with me? I remembered that there was a massive "benign" lump in my left breast for about ten years and that it had grown to a very large size. As a Psychic Medium I have the ability to see possible future timelines for myself and others. I had a sneaking suspicion that this lump was precancerous and pushing against nerve endings. I knew instinctively that it needed to be removed immediately. I visited my family doctor and asked for a biopsy. An ultrasound and mammogram were completed with 'normal' results. "It's benign" they told me. Two more months crawled by after that until the numb feeling crept farther down toward my elbow.

In July of that year, I had a sickening fear in my stomach that this needed to be treated more urgently and I felt so lost about what to do. I pushed my family doctor again for a biopsy. However, it wasn't that simple. I first needed a referral to a surgeon who specializes in breast cancer. Three months later in October of 2018, I finally got my appointment with the surgeon to get examined. She informed me again that the mammogram results showed up as benign.

By this time the lump was larger than a golf ball and the tingling sensation was all the way down into two fingers on my left hand. I asked again for a biopsy. When she examined me and felt the lump her eyes bulged out in surprise. Finally, someone understood what this was. I was scheduled the very next day for a mammogram with dye.

When she called me into her office the next week, I was told that I had stage four cell mutation inside the lump, also known as stage zero cancer. She informed me, very seriously, that this would be treated like stage one cancer and that I had to have my entire breast removed, including the nipple. 

My world slowed down after that. Nothing seemed important anymore; all the day to day tasks and conversations seemed so trivial. I was an emotional mess. I was at the same time, awaiting genetic testing results to help me decide in three weeks whether or not to have just one breast removed, have both taken out with a double mastectomy and be left flat, or have plastic surgery reconstruction take place on one or both breasts. I went back and forth every day, locked up in fear and emotional turmoil, trying to decide what to do. It was the hardest decision of my life. I didn't want to be disfigured and lopsided; but on the other hand, I didn't want to lose the very essence of what made me look like a woman. Going flat was not a favorable option, neither was reconstructing only one breast.  

It was the end of November and the numb feeling had spread down into my hand and my two fingers were now tingling and numb. I knew that this thing was growing fast and that it needed to come out. I had gotten the genetic testing results back and learned that I was BRAC 1 positive; almost a death sentence on it's own. I had a 60 - 80% risk of breast cancer and a 40% risk of ovarian cancer. Stomach, lung, skin cancers.... The words were echoing in my mind of what cancer risks were highest for me. I felt terrible, knowing that I had passed on this genetic mutation to my three innocent boys. 

In this same year, I had planned and organized two large Health Expo events that were focused on tools for cancer prevention. I knew that there must be ways that we can keep our body healthy and my goal was to make this information more readily available to the public. My mammogram was the day before my event took place and the biopsy that had found the breast cancer happened merely days after the event was completed. It all felt like an ironic practical joke being played on me by fate itself. I was so frozen in fear, that I had not followed up or gotten back to people who were counting on me - something I regret to this day.

Sometimes when we are locked in a state of shock and fear, we can push people away from us and hurt them deeply without realizing it. Forgiveness toward ourselves and our situation is something that must also be addressed during the healing process that takes place later on down the road. 

My surgery was scheduled for two weeks before Christmas - the day of my eldest son's birthday. With three boys under seven, a dog and a husband to take care of, my final days before surgery were spent crying, shopping, preparing for Christmas and planning my eldest son's eight year old nerf birthday party.

I tried to live each day to its fullest while fighting an emotionally crippling fear. I had decided to get a double mastectomy with immediate reconstruction. The surgery was six hours long and the recovery was more painful than all three labours of each child put together into one. I could not move without flexing my stomach, which I quickly learned was directly connected to my chest wall. The hot searing pain was so bad that I could only take very small inhalations at a time. I had two artificial breasts sewn directly into my chest muscle wall and both nipples had been removed. It was as though I had woken up in the middle of a nightmare with my lips cut off and my mouth sewn up shut. The feeling of having my nipples removed was quite traumatizing. I started to develop PTSD and couldn’t stop crying. The sound of the vacuum cleaner was strangely triggering an intense fear inside me.

On Christmas Eve we received a call from my surgeon to learn that the lump removed from my breast was still at stage four cell mutation and called stage zero cancer. I had luckily had it removed just in time! The two lymph nodes removed from my left armpit were clear of cancer as well. Our Christmas gift that year was a clean bill of health. The relief lifted from my husband's and my shoulders that Christmas Eve was palpable. We were so grateful and blessed to have caught it, just in time. I thank my psychic abilities for that. Always trust your instincts!

Christmas came and went that year in a painful blur. I had all the gifts neatly prepared for my kids and husband. We had luckily had our Christmas dinner donated to us, but it was hard to feel grateful when my parents, my twin sister and my brothers were an hour away, having their last Christmas dinner with my Step-Grandpa. He wasn't doing well and everyone knew that this would be his last Christmas. I was absolutely heart-broken to have missed his last Christmas. I cried for a long time on Christmas night feeling both relief and pity for myself. Christmas was my favorite holiday; now it felt tainted with painful and emotionally difficult memories. My parents apologized and I understood, but that didn't make it hurt any less to feel so left out.  

My Aunt (my Mom's twin) had agreed to stay with us for a few months to help us with the kids until I had fully recovered. I was hoping that she would prepare meals for me as well but her focus was on the kids and so it was my husband who was left with the charge of making meals for me. Many times I went without and resorted to snacks stashed in my side drawer. I felt lonely and neglected in my bedroom trying to stay still and heal for the first two weeks.

I missed my own home cooked chicken and rice and longed for a decent meal again. Everyone was so busy with the kids that many times I was forgotten about. Now I had to deal with feelings of neglect on top of the pain that was ripping across my chest. 

In January of 2019, one month after the surgery, the stitches were starting to heal and I could move my arms ever so slightly without feeling burning pain rip across my chest wall. I wanted to move forward and stop feeling sorry for myself; however, I found myself crying spontaneously and uncontrollably almost every day. I was fed-up and angry about feeling helpless and in that moment, I decided to take control over my life again. No more feeling sorry for myself; I had tools and I was going to start using them!

I made an appointment to see a hypnotherapist and had a healing regression done to help me release feelings of fear and neglect. I felt 75% better after that and most of the heaviness was lifted from my soul allowing me to move forward and take action with my business again.

I saw my Naturopath, Dr. Ciler Ataner, and we developed a homeopathic and supplement plan to both strengthen and detox my body. I made regular appointments with my Physiotherapist & Kinesiologist, Angie Marsman, to help create a stretching and strengthening exercise plan. 

She also did lymphatic drainage massage and laser therapy on the scar tissue that was causing me pain and discomfort.   

I started going to swimming classes and used the circuit training machines at the gym to develop my chest and stomach muscles back again. It was like I had to relearn how to use my chest wall again. I lovingly pushed myself past feelings of fear of pain so that I could become strong for myself and my family again.

My surgeon wanted me to see an Oncologist for possible radiation on my chest wall even though my results were clear. I knew that this would mutate and deform the tissue underneath my implant, putting me at a higher risk of intracellular muscle tissue mutation years down the road - putting me at a higher risk of breast cancer again years later so I declined the referral. Having learned what I knew about the damaging effects of poisonous radiation and chemotherapy I refused to go down that route. My focus was on detoxing, strengthening, healing and becoming the best version of myself possible. 

I will one day have to remove or replace my breast implants, as they have a seven to ten year expiry date before they start to particulate into my bloodstream. This will inflame my nervous system, which will create symptoms of fibromyalgia and nerve inflammation.

To be preventative I have started following the protocol of Medical Medium, Anthony Williams to help my body to heal. I have learned from his wise teachings that I was born with the Epstein Barr virus, passed on to me from my Mother at birth, along with the BRAC 1 gene from my Grandmother.

The Epstein Barr virus has caused me to have symptoms of: stomach and digestive sensitivity, muscle pain, cramping and fatigue and severe hormonal imbalances leading up to breast cancer. In order to heal, I have been trying to starve the virus by eliminating many seemingly normal foods from my diet: gluten, dairy, refined sugar, alcohol, pork, fatty foods, processed foods. I take supplements for digestion, nerve and muscle rebuilding, estrogen hormonal balancing and faster cellular regeneration. I even found supplements and healthy drinks to stop possible hidden tumors from developing or growing. I am confident in my ability to stay healthy and heal my body, mind and soul.

Since the Covid-19 pandemic started there has been a lot more stress and fear surrounding everyone's lives. As an empath who can feel the emotions of others as though they are my own, this type of emotional state of being in the world can be quite difficult for me to process some days. We have gone through three cycles of homeschooling our three young children and it has not been easy on my husband or me.

The day after Mother's Day this year, I got vaccinated with the Astrazeneca vaccine, only to be struck with side effects that keep me fearful of getting fully vaccinated: (extreme fatigue, muscle pain, fibromyalgia from eating sugar or alcohol). It has not been an easy route for me since getting vaccinated this year. I have to be very careful of what I put in my body now. I feel like I have been awakened in more ways than one: spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically. 

I now look at life through a very different lens. Each moment feels like a gift and I strive to live life to its fullest. I've learned that in every single moment of each day we have an internal choice as to what we do with our time. In each moment lies a new opportunity to become a better version of ourselves.

I have learned that life is all about balance; we must enjoy some of the pleasures that life has to offer and yet also remain mindful of the very real fact that food is medicine. I have learned that we must take opportunities every day to create our own recipe for happiness. With my own body I have learned that if we do not use it, we lose it. Rather than live a life of stiffness and pain, I try to take time every day to move my body, stretch and work my muscles. This is a gift that I give to my future self.

I now strive to take on a mindset of gratitude for all that I have in my life rather than focusing on what is lacking. This one mindset tool of gratitude has transformed my life dramatically. I make a shake every day and add extra nutrients in it to help boost the nutrition in my body. A healthy body creates a healthy mind and soul.

I know that the road ahead of me will face new challenges in the future. I still have to decide whether or not to have my ovaries and/or fallopian tubes removed because I have the BRAC 1 gene. I have to watch what I eat and drink because I no longer have lymph nodes in my left armpit to help flush out alcohol from my system. I have discovered the nerve medicine of marijuana and have created an incredible healing oil to help reduce itching from the implants and surgery pain. 

With all good things, there must still remain balance. Too much of anything is not good for anyone. Balance of all things has become the focus for health and longevity in my life. I have learned that one needs to advocate for themselves within our current healthcare system.  I have also learned that our energy field needs to be healed - especially after the body is physically cut open during a surgery.

Dedication and time has gone into healing my heart chakra with meditation, music and resonance frequencies. Knowing now that emotions can get trapped inside our organs, I try to take time to purposefully emotionally release all that no longer serves me in my highest good, so that I may have better health.

Getting in touch with my inner child has been another healing tool, that is allowing me to go inward into my subconscious to see and feel what the small, adorable girl living inside my soul needs. In order for me to be truly happy I have to pause, listen and take the action necessary in order to be at my best self. 

The stress and struggles of young children, discipline, emotional stress, vaccine side effects, vaccine pressure and the fear of back-to-school unknowns continues to take its toll on me. Thankfully I now have powerful tools to help me achieve a better mind/body/soul life balance and I use these tools every single day. What are my happiness and healing secrets? Follow me on social media to learn more. As I continue to this journey and learn I will continue to share.

For now… each day I gift myself with some or all of the following tools: meditation, mindfulness, learning, teaching, helping others, artwork, strengthening and stretching my body in our hot tub (with the water kept warm, not hot), supplements, nutrition, shakes, food sensitivity therapy, whole food medicine, detoxing, celery juicing, herbal teas, music and vibrational therapy, gardening, time outside in nature, creating happy memories with family and filling my days with as much self love and compassion for myself and others as possible.

Life is all about balance. We are here in a physical body for only a short period of time on this earth. I am not afraid of dying because I know that our soul lives forever (I talk to and communicate with people on the other side every day). But I'm not done yet and there is so much more work to do here on this earth. 

Sometimes life can be really difficult. I'd like to believe that all the difficult moments we go through are here for us to experience so that we can truly appreciate the sweetness inside the good times when we are feeling well. We must make ourselves a higher priority in life so that we can remain healthy. The saying "death by a thousand cuts" rings in the back of my mind and I am now mindful of everything going on inside and around me. In every moment lies a choice of how we think and act toward ourselves and others. May we all find our own happiness and health recipes, so that we may live our longest, happiest and most fulfilling lives possible.


You can contact Teressa Joubert by going to her Website or by following / connecting with her on  Facebook, Twitter, or Linkedin
 
 

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