Candace's WOW Story:
I was born into a very loving family. My mother was always about love and being there. I never wanted for kisses and they were plentiful, as was the attention. If it were not for this consistent love and affection I don't know what may have become of me. Because of the tight bond we had I was able to come to my mom for anything, but still kept a secret from her (or so I thought), and it was because of that love that I eventually was able to tell the terrible truth.
When I was 3 (or so I am told) is when it first happened. With my mother and grandmother downstairs I was upstairs loosing my innocence at the hands of a person who, in one action, became a stranger to me. When I returned downstairs to my mother and grandmother I was asked what I was doing and I was quite candid about it. This first time it was hushed as per my grandmothers request (as family dirty laundry was not aired). It was (as I am being told) taken care of "in house" and this person was told to never touch me again. My family was to believe that was the end of it.
Two years later (at 5) is my first real memory of anything.
I had buried the memory of the first time deep enough to feel like a bad dream.
Yet this time I knew it wasn't right so I went right downstairs to my mom’s
side and just remembered feeling empty and alone, yet was comforted by being
close to my mom.
The third time (around 9 years old) was yet again at my
grandparent place, but this time in the
room next to where my grandmother
was and my mom was not there.
This time it wasn't as severe, yet still mentally altering.
It wasn't until then that I got the courage to tell my mother.
Unfortunately for years we both thought the
3 and 5 year old incident was one in the
same (this was just cleared up a few months back). Again, nothing was
done other than this person being
kept an eye on. In the 80's it
was not as known the ramifications
yet, but I would learn through years of counseling, medication and feelings of
worthlessness what effect it really has on a person.
There
were ad still are times in my life that I was surrounded by people, yet felt
completely alone. Through my marriage, I felt ashamed sexually with my
own husband. Sexual acts became shameful to me. Anxiety is a huge
part of my life, yet I have learned tricks to dealing without using medication.
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder,
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Anxiety,
Panic Attacks, Depression, these are
all things I have dealt with at one point or another.
Not
a day goes by that I don't think of what happened, and there
are still stories I am not able to share about the
flashbacks that have haunted me in my life. I know that what happened is not
what defines me. It is what I do in life, and how I handle daily situations
that do!
It
was actually a little girl who did not even know me coming up to my van at a
school that motivated me to spearhead the
Stranger Danger Awareness
organization. Her nativity could have put her in a very dangerous situation
changing her life forever.
When I started looking into registering Stranger Danger Awareness
I realized it was to be so much bigger! Continued at Right...
It dawned on me that a stranger
isn't just someone that a child doesn't know…it is those who would hurt a child
in any way because they instantly
become a stranger to that child.They are no longer who that child
thought they were. From that point
on they become a stranger!
It
has been very emotional reading stories and learning of children's suffering. It
makes me angry which motivates me to fight even harder for them! No child deserves to suffer. They never
even asked to be born! It is past victims and adults who care for the well being of a child enough to stand strong and
tall and become the soldiers for these innocent children who have had a war ragged
against them. A war they never asked to be in! We will fight to
help "Break the Barrier of
Silence" and make a safer future for our children!
I started Stranger Danger
Awareness originally out of fear of children being abducted and it transformed
into Raising Awareness and Breaking the
Barrier of Silence of Sexual Abuse.
Now we hope to help not only victimized children, but all
children, families, and adults still suffering in silence.
With running this organization I have really come face to face with many of my own past demons of sexual abuse, and although I am a survivor it still affects me in many ways. It is how I deal with the effects that will make me stronger in the end.
The memories no longer haunt me, yet strengthen me to fight harder to protect the innocence of children!
I am blessed to have a wonderful mother who gave me so much love growing up that I did
not fall victim to any type of substance abuse which so many victims are prone
to out
of pain, confusion, fear etc. She remains right by my side in
my endeavors and supports me fully and completely.
At the
moment Stranger Danger Awareness is
made up of a board of 4 other women
who
are wonderful in their
own ways. Mothers, mostly, wanting a
safer future for not only their own
children, but for all children!
If you would like to be a part of
or contribute SDA in any way please
contact Candace 289-407-4484, join SDA’s Facebook Page or Follow SDA on Twitter.