The universe has this magical way of illuminating our path when we choose to see it! Surrendering to the social conditioning and expectations of others allowed me the freedom to be authentically me.
We each have a story of how we got to where we are today, here is mine.
I always had this “knowing” that I had a purpose beyond what I was experiencing in my life yet I didn’t know what it was. As a child, I was happy, imaginative, creative and looked at the world with wonder and awe. Being in nature was my favourite place, especially in the woods. I loved to laugh and make others happy.
When I was 13, my life changed in an instant. My happiness was gone and everything I knew changed. My Uncle Doug was my favourite person and in April 1982, he passed away in a tragic accident, at the age of 24, leaving a huge hole in my heart. Two months later, we moved to a rural town. My parents were struggling with the changes, especially the loss of my Uncle Doug, my mom’s baby brother. They started drinking more, burying their grief. I felt so lost and alone. It was at this moment, I decided that being me was no longer making me happy. I started on the path of self destructive behaviour that just added to my struggle. Most of my teenage years are a blur as I was either drunk, high or both. Family holidays became gatherings of everyone drowning their sorrows in alcohol and usually ended with some type of physical altercation.
I went from an honors student to failing classes. Surprisingly, I managed to graduate highschool. My parents did not believe a woman should go to college or university so I found a minimum wage job in a restaurant. When I wasn’t working, I was partying. At 18, I found out I was pregnant. My parents were so disappointed and their words stuck with me for many years. From “You will struggle for the rest of your life” to “No man will ever want you now” but I was determined to prove them wrong.
In September 1987, I gave birth to my beautiful daughter. I was determined to prove my parents wrong and provide an amazing life for her. I was absolutely terrified but the love I have for her inspired me to take control of my life. I moved out of my parents house, got my own apartment and eventually went to college. I graduated with honors in Accounting and got a full time job in my field. I also found love and In 1994, I was excited for the arrival of my son. I had what appeared to be the perfect life. This all changed when I was involved in a car accident. This was a blessing in disguise but I jumped back into that cycle of struggle. Multiple surgeries, being told I would experience chronic pain for the rest of my life and never work again.
In my early 30’s, I found holistic healing, got off my medications and went back to work. I ended my relationship and began the search to find my happiness.
Throughout my career, I had many rewarding positions. I continued to upgrade my skills working my way to the field of payroll management and a government job. At 35 I bought my first home, had my dream job and found out I was going to be a grandmother. Was this success?
I really struggled with my relationship with my parents. Little did I know their addictions would take their life. In my late 30’s my mom passed away at the age of 54. One year later, my dad passed. I was so angry with them. I buried my grief and anger, I threw myself into my work trying to hold onto everything I had worked so hard to build. I just wanted them to be proud of me.
I began reflecting on my life and started to realize that the success I had created wasn’t mine. I truly wasn’t happy and always felt like I was struggling. I could never be what anyone wanted me to be and the more I tried, the more unhappy I became. Something was missing in my life but I didn’t know what it was. I always felt like I had a special purpose and was drawn to the spiritual realm, psychic abilities and astrology, interests I shared with my mom when I was a child.
This reflection started a change in my life that left me feeling defeated, exhausted and suicidal. First, I lost my job. It was the first time in my career that I had been unemployed. Soon after, I lost my house and found myself bankrupt. I remember sitting in my car, crying uncontrollably and screaming at my parents (in spirit) asking why they weren’t helping me. I became even more angry with them. I just wanted my life to end and the struggle to stop. I no longer wanted to fight to survive. I wanted to be happy. I wanted to be me but I had no idea who that was.
This was my wake up call, my opportunity to find myself and discover who I really was. I started a job that allowed me to create balance in my life. I set off on a path, exploring meditation, connecting to my soul and meeting like minded people. My intuitive gifts expanded and I began to feel happiness with who I was. This brought me on my healing journey where I was able to see how my experiences in life were preparing me for my purpose. I worked on myself, I embraced the possibilities of the future while healing the pain of the past. I learned all I could about spirituality, the metaphysical world and followed what interested me. Reading cards, working with crystals, energy healing and connecting with spirit brought me a sense of purpose that I had never experienced before. Creating my own business to help others became a dream, a vision, a goal. This feeling was beyond my wildest dreams, giving me the courage to officially establish my own business. I continued to work on my healing, growth and expanding my skills, embracing every moment. Earning my coaching certification taught me so much more about myself and elevated my healing.
Working on myself I saw how social conditioning, belief systems and the projections of others had shaped me into the person I was. I allowed fear to consume me, control me and guide me. Connecting to my inner wisdom and learning to love myself gave me the courage to shift how I viewed the world.
I could see how the universe was guiding me, how people were showing up for me and how important it was to love myself. I learned to embrace life from a place of love and passion. I use my fear as strength to continue to grow and open my heart. I started seeing myself as important, worthy and lovable. I let go of the beliefs that no longer served me, the stories I told myself that kept me small and I gave myself permission to become lovable. I stopped pleasing people and learned to set boundaries. I saw the blessings in my pain and found my purpose. I also learned that gratitude changes everything.
Following my joy and releasing everything else that didn’t align, brought so many changes in my life. In 2019, I left my full time job and now invest my time in my business, doing what I love. This entire experience inspired me to create my Mindset Method Program to help others as well as my motto “Do everything with Love”
I am beyond blessed to work with the most amazing souls and absolutely love watching their growth.
Opening our hearts to receive and unconditionally loving ourselves brings us joy. Joy elevates our ability to receive and we feel abundance flow. Look for the blessings in life.