Nellie's WOW Story:

In early 2010 I faced a crisis, a dilemma I could never, ever have
imagined. It wasn't within the framework of my thinking, not in MY lifetime.

Isn't this the way things happen?  

We go along in life, busy dealing with all kinds of challenges, minding our business, following our routines, experiencing some sort of normalcy. Then - often without any warning - WHAM, we're hit with a BIG one. It might be a career "failure", a natural or man-made disaster, a relationship ending, the death of a loved one, or a monumental health issue. When something like this happens to us or someone we love, it affects everyone within our circle and beyond.

The way in which we face challenges, combined with our attitude and support network can inevitably pull us through a crisis or life change. That's what happened with me and my family. 

During the 2009 Christmas holidays through the beginning of January, my husband suffered with severe pain and familiar indications we thought were kidney stones. With one after another visit to emergency departments, the days that followed were confusing and frightening, to say the least. Teams of doctors at the hospital studied his symptoms and ordered one test after another.

The shock of the unexpected diagnosis of kidney failure with urgent need for dialysis treatments three times weekly deeply affected both of us as well as our kids, their partners, my mom, our relatives and close friends.

My husband and I are resilient and very practical people. Neither of us ask, "why me?" Stuff just happens ...

We don't ask, "What is the reason for this?" I'm not talking from the
medical viewpoint, but existentially. In retrospect, we can make up a
gazillion reasons. At the time, however, we had to deal with each step as it unfolded. No one was going to do it for us. No one could do it except us. We decided to make the best of the situation - and we did.

The kidney friendly diet is really limited in scope. Too much salt, potassium, phosphorous or protein can be destructive. No whole wheat anything. No bananas. A half cup of potatoes needs to be boiled and drained twice. Too many tomatoes can potentially kill someone with failing kidney. I learned to shop for and cook foods my husband was allowed to eat, and I ate what he ate. How could I not? 

My husband opted for hospital treatments Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday afternoons so he could go to his office on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. He'd take work-related reading material to occupy him while undergoing dialysis.

Fifteen hours of dialysis weekly provides at best 10% normal kidney
function. The body begins to deteriorate over time. Shortly after the onset of dialysis, every kidney patient is automatically added to the end of a recipient list for a donor transplant. In Ontario, Canada, the wait for a potential cadaver donor is about seven years.  I couldn't imagine waiting that long. 

Usually, the best candidate for transplant is a blood relative under the age of 65. We absolutely refused to consider our own kids. You can imagine why-I'm sure.

So... I went for a blood test. 

Before this, neither of us knew our blood types. My husband discovered he has O positive, the most common blood type. A person with O positive blood is a universal donor. In other words, that person can give blood to other blood types. But a person with O positive blood can only receive O positive or O negative blood.

We and the teams of doctors were all absolutely stunned when my results came back indicating I was O positive. What are the chances?
This was obviously a sign. It was a miracle.

Admittedly with great trepidation, I agreed to go ahead with testing to find out if I was truly a match - not just figuratively, but medically. Months of appointments followed. Each series of intensive testing led to the next. I was tested from head to foot and from inside to out. I was checked out physically and emotionally. Over those long months, I started an intensive exercise regime to ensure my body would be strong, just in case it would be a go.

And then... the final word came. We were a match!

Honestly? My next thoughts were, "Oh, "s..t!" It's one thing to think
altruistically. It's quite another to be faced with reality.

I was scared. As a little girl... as a teen... as a young woman falling in love... as a mother with young kids... and now as a proud grandmother,  I could never, ever in a million years have imagined this happening. It wasn't within the framework of my thinking. How could it have been?

Now, faced with one of THE greatest challenges of my life, I felt completely vulnerable. I turned to the life-long example my parents set.

They were my role models for making opportunity knock and my lifework. As immigrants who left Europe following World War II they'd lost virtually everything familiar to them, including many family members as well as friends. I was a toddler when we sailed across the Atlantic Ocean.

Without money except for $5 my mother had sewn into the hem of her coat, they had little education and spoke no English. Arriving in North America into the arms of sponsoring relatives they were anxious yet filled with hopeful anticipation. Determined to be successful, they enrolled in English classes, developed networks and found jobs. 

Depending upon their shifting circumstances our growing family moved dozens of times within the city. During these pre-adult years, moving from home to home, from school to school (13 in total), I took note of my parents' courage, tenacity and creative-thinking. At various times, my mom took home piece work sewing beads on sweaters, worked as grocery store cashier,  Continued at Right...